The dreams that can't come true

I have these phases I go through. dreaming phases. Not the dreams like I want to go to the moon or I wish I could get an A in an art class type dream.
The dreams you have while sleeping.
I'll go months without a dream. And then boom! I have dreams nearly every night.

Here's how the past year has gone, by memory. {rough}

july-august- Very very regular
september-october- not much
november-present {longest stretch that I can remember}- TONS. Here's the thing though. While I used to love having these dreams, I do not anymore. I wish they'd go away because I just wake up being sad that they can't come true anymore. They include the same people mostly and It's not helping me right now.
Have you ever woken up crying? and you don't remember crying in your sleep? Well folks, I did that for the 2nd time in all my life this morning. The first time was last october {2010}. I remember because it was an awful day in which the dream came to life. Luckily today wasn't awful and nothing happened, but when I first woke up, I was extremely sad and kind of scared.

Since I was little, I've felt like dreams can mean something. I don't think they all do, but some definitely do. I'll share a personal story-

I believe i was 3, My mom had just had a miscarriage {in between Quinton and I} and naturally was having a hard time. Well, {I vaguely remember this but my mom loves this story. as do I So i hear it a lot} Ashleigh and I had the same dream one night about this baby. In the dream, The baby {a boy that to this day i believe to be Quinton} just needed to go back and talk to Heavenly Father one last time before he came to Earth. But that he'd be back and he'd be a part of our family soon. Quinton was born later that year.
You may say that this was all a coincidence, But, I cannot believe this. Ash and I were given that dream for a reason.

Which brings me to my present nightly dreams {i guess they're not every night. but at least 3-4 times a week}. I don't understand why I've been having these specific dreams. Before about a year ago, I've never really dreamed about one thing or subject in particular. They were very random and had very little real life things in them. Until recently I haven't really thought into it too much, but I don't like them anymore.

At the same time though, I don't understand why I'd be having these dreams when I so badly don't want them anymore, if there wasn't some sort of reason.

I have no clue. And, most likely I'll never figure it out. But, I'd love it if I could. That or stop having them so I can actually want to sleep at night.

But, if they went away, I'd probably wish they were back.

Clearly I have been thinking a lot about this.

And as much as I do not want to go to bed, I must because i'm   ex    haust    ed.