Germany- the funny story version.

Remember that one time that I told you you can’t judge me on my blog?

Well it goes for this post too. Cause this is sort of like my blog.

You know how there are certain regulations on the airlines? Like they only let you bring a teaspoon of liquids and ½ an oz of shampoo? And how you can’t bring razors cause in Europe no one shaves anyway so why bother? And how you can’t have scissors cause they don’t want you getting into a fight, and you can’t wear stilettos cause you could stab someone with them…. Wait, I don’t think that’s one…. And how you pretty much have to strip naked to go through the metal detectors, and how you can’t even wear earrings cause it will set it off, and how it takes forever to go through, and then you have to get patted down because it beeped when you went through even though you aren’t trying to sneak anything on? Etc.

Regardless, I didn’t bring a razor with me. And every time we were at a spot in London that I could buy one, I forgot. AND For some reason, I forgot lotion too. ANDDDDD I was totally going to paint my nails before I left. Yeah, totally didn’t have time.

So without further ado-

People of the United States- I look like a girl again!! 

A week without a razor is not a pretty thing. A week without lotion on my poor hands hurts, and a week without nail polish made me want to paint them bright pink. So I bought some and did. :D

So now, I resemble an American girl instead of a German man….

I have a slightly funny {looking back on it… not at the time} story to tell you. Because I have time sitting in this hostel where the internet costs 5 million euros a second to use the internet {don’t worry, I’m using word to type this and then as fast as speedy Gonzalez copy and paste it to blogger cause it saves a lot of moneys.}

Now, revert back to remembering the part about dumb airport security and not judging me.

We left our London hostel a little late, I guess…. And then ended up standing in a line for a while that we didn’t even need to stand in because I apparently can’t even read signs in London’s English….

Well, after standing in the line we’re supposed to be in and the one we really were supposed to be in, we had to go back to a different place to get a weird stamp thing on our boarding pass because we were foreigners. Then stand in the first line again.

Which lead to an even longer line, that led to the blasted security screening.

At the salt lake airport and the Frankfurt Hahn airport they didn’t make us take our teaspoons and ½ fluid oz of liquids out of our bag, but surprise! They did at the London Stanstedt one. So While I’m digging out my 2 months worth of shampoo, conditioner, soap, face wash, make up, contact solution, etc, out of my bag that is also stuffed to the brim all divided into these itty bitty containers that take up far too much room it gets to be my turn. Not ready, so I’m stuck behind. Get ready and then seriously rush to get it thrown into a plastic bin thing. 

Well, my water bottle that is strapped to my backpack was full. I forgot to dump it out and I couldn’t chug that much water so the lady took it from me and wouldn’t let me dump it in the trash can. Some people’s children. That was a nice USU water bottle! Lucky person who gets it!

In the rush of everything I forgot to take my baby camera out of my right jean pocket and so when I went through the metal detectors it beeped. Sigh. So then they literally gave me a full pat down. Super super awkward. Luckily it was a lady; The awkwardness level would have dramatically increased if it had been a male.

Well, while this was all happening, my plastic bin gets thrown into a middle row thing because there was a problem.

{random tid bit of information- at this point it was 10 minutes till our gate closed for our flight. Panic mode-high}

so while the airport workers seem to think we have a month till our flight leaves they take their time to get to asking who’s bag it was even though I was jumping up and down like a prairie dog telling them to hurry there small selves up!

{random tid bit of information- I had to take my belt off to go through the detector thing too, so I’m also trying to hold my pants up. And they’re kind of stretched out because that’s what jeans do. They want to be like spandex sometimes.}

while waiting I notice a small problem- my boarding pass is missing.

Stress level- higher. Well after panicking about this long enough the guy comes with my bin and tells me that my little bottles of liquid can’t be in gallon size bags, but sandwich size bags. {Who in the heck cares what size of bag they’re in!? I’m going to miss my flight.} I don’t know the metric system. Apparently a gallon bag is larger than 20 cm long. Who knew?

So then he grabs like 7 bags {remember, 2 months worth of stuff} to re organize the stuff. I go to try and help him to speed up the process and he puts his hand up and says I can’t touch it. But his explanation as to why took a good 15 seconds. Even though I didn’t ask for one.

Stress level- panicky.

And then I remember that I don’t have my boarding pass so it’s not like I can get on the plane that I’m going to miss anyway.

But the guy stuffing my bottles into little bags tells me they can just look up my info at the boarding station and it’ll be fine.

Stress level- a little relieved. Not that it mattered cause I was pretty sure at this point we were going to miss it anyway.

So after he has to put the liquid back through the x-ray machine. Everyone helped grab all the stuff out of it and bee lined it to terminal 43.

Problem- we were flying Ryan Air. Aka-devil airlines that only allow 1 carry on instead of 2, which means I have to stuff my big camera bag, all my liquids, and everything else back into my backpack before getting on the airplane. Which is how it was organized perfectly to fit before they made me take my little liquids out.

{remember- I don’t have a belt cause I didn’t have time to put it back on. and everyone is helping me carry my stuff while running while I’m trying to cram it in my bag. At one point I was crawling on the floor while zipping and scooting the bag along. ALSO, I was wearing 2 jackets because I couldn’t fit them both into the backpack and it was incredibly toasty in that airport while running with 2 jackets on while being stressed. Just saying.}

and we get onto the stairs and a bag broke with my little bottles of liquids going flying down the stairs while I’m trying not to let the whole world see my underwear.

It was a trial. Well, Lindy was helping me pick them up and carry some of my stuff and lug her suit case and while she was helping me, she accidentally left her suitcase in the middle of the walk way and didn’t realize it till we got to the desk to hand them our boarding passes.

First good news in a while- while cramming my stuff into the backpack, I found my boarding pass! It was with my socks.

Luckily, Lindy’s suitcase was still there and no one even put a bomb in it!

Next lucky thing- we made our flight!!!

Bad news- my carry on wouldn’t fit in the over head compartment because it wasn’t organized will so I had to sit on the plane with flip flops and journals and cameras and other miscellaneous things under me to get the bag to fit.

And then I put my belt on, took my jackets off, and really wished that I had my water bottle they took away from me.

And said a prayer for yet another miracle of this trip.

This was not funny at the time, but looking back on it now, I know when I get to heaven that I’m requesting a video of this short period of my life.

Golly, that was a novel! Maybe I’ll turn it into a book!

Germany so far- TONS of rabbits. There were so many of them outside the airport!!

The air hostel we stayed in had this ginormous, deep, beautiful bathtub!! So, I totally took a bath last night. I haven’t taken a bath in like a year and a half. It was so fantastic! A great way to end a stressful day!

This morning we left Düsseldorf and are now in Dortmund. Our hostel is really nice and it’s so good to see all the other faces from usu!

I ate a doner for dinner! The place looked a little sketchy because they shaved meat off of a spit thing with what looked like an electric razor but it was the best food I’ve had on this whole trip so far!!! And it was huge! Mmmm. :D

Congratulations!! You’ve made it to the end and word says it is now 1614 words. And now I will go eat a piece of German chocolate and sing a song of happiness about feeling like a girl again.

i'll put up another picture later. the internet is slow here too. i miss american internet!

Xoxoxo