Why do people do things that hurt them?

I came home from work today and cried.
Not because I was hurt physically, not because anything had been done to me personally, but I hurt spiritually. Not because I had done anything, but because I have a tender heart and I don't know how to not hurt, when others are struggling. Especially people close to me.

One of my work friends, when she was younger, was into drugs. She cleaned her life up and I ended up taking her baby boy's newborn pictures Like 2 years ago. I hadn't seen her in a while but she came through my line today and looked awful. No one else was in my line and I talked to her for a few minutes and she told me about how she had messed up and that her kids were taken away from her. My heart literally hurt for her. She knew she had messed up and I cannot imagine what pains she's feeling right now. I feel for her. And it breaks my heart to see people do things that mess their lives up. People that have good lives and they throw it away for what they want in the moment. She said she's doing better now and I sincerely hope she is. It broke my heart and I'm praying for her and her family.

And this didn't even come close to the feeling of what another friend's doing. Because I know/knew him better than the girl from work. And I cared/care a lot about him; he knew me better than almost any other person ever has. I can't describe the feeling that what he's doing gives me. It goes far beyond any spiritual pain I've ever felt before and I'm not even going through the trials he is. I feel sad for him but will never leave him out of my daily prayers. I hope he can feel them once in a while.

I was talking to my wonderful parents tonight about how pathetic I am for crying my face off tonight because of other people's trials. My dad told me that I was a wonderful person for caring so much. My mom told me it was a Christ-like attribute.

All I know is sometimes I wish I could just not care. To let it go and let people do whatever they are doing and not care so it never got me down. But as I think about that last sentence, I know that is a big part of who I am. I wouldn't know who I was if I didn't value other's happiness. Is overly caring bad? I think it might be.

Regardless, I hope everyone {let's be honest, we all have problems} realizes that even when they do things that aren't right, there's always a way back. Christ will open up his arms to anyone who is willing to seek him out. I want everyone to know that I believe that. There's only artificial happiness out of doing what's wrong; true happiness is only in doing what is right.


And to end on a non-serious note, my niece is the cutest thing in the entire world. I guess that was kind of serious though because I was being serious.

here's a video and picture to prove it-

This is her ripping a paper towel. Glad Ash got some of it on video. :D

look at those thighs!! I love her! All 12 pounds of her.

okay, so 2 pictures. I couldn't choose. Quinton took these. I still need to teach him how to compose a picture better. 90% of the pictures he took, half of my face is cut off and Gemma is centered. haha. 

She doesn't suck on her fingers, she CHEWS on them. 

I'm so glad she's still so little. It makes me feel like I didn't miss all that much while I was gone. Being an aunt is my favorite thing. :)