alright so being a single college student you hear a lot of "you need to get married" or "find your eternal companion" or "go on lots of dates!!" at least once a week in church {if not more}
so today, i am going to write about how this isn't exactly the easiest thing to do or "no big deal" kind of phrase. I think the people telling us these things must have had an easy time dating and such because i don't see how they can say these things so nonchalantly as if it's not hard. PSH. as if.
Here are 3 examples of how it's not easy
{these may or may not be personal experiences....}
example 1- guy takes girl on lots of dates. Guy tells girl "I like you". girl says "i like you" back. Guy doesn't take girl on any more dates and drops of the face of the planet only to find out he told another girl the exact same thing and chose her. super
so heres the problem with example 1. Guys don't want to commit. they always have to have someone new or as a back up. girls don't like this. If a guy makes every girl feel really special then none of them feel special at all because it's not unique to you.
example 2- guy takes girl on date. they have a really good time. guy holds girl's hand {which is kind of a really BIG deal to girl since she doesn't do it like ever.} and so she {naturally} assumes he likes her. Wrong, apparently this means he likes her friend. But he never tells her this and has to find out through his friend telling her friend. But guy still flirts with original girl, driving her insane. super
so here's the problem with example 2. well there are lots. First, if you don't like the girl, don't hold her hand. It sends a completely wrong message to the girl who over analyzes things as it is. second. Why on earth are you going for 2 different girls that are good friends? isn't that a really bad accident waiting to happen?
example 3- Girl and guy are friends. girl and guy are really good friends. girl and guy like each other. girl and guy tell each other. girl and guy "date". girl prays to see if she should continue in the relationship and finds she shouldn't. super
so here's the problem with example 3. After the hard beginning steps of a relationship are done, it doesn't mean it's smooth sailing. in fact, i think this example is the hardest.
so here are some recognizable differences between boys and girls that make dating not easy what so ever. {in general. obviously not all the time.}
{B for Boy and G for Girl}
- B- send mixed messages
- G- over analyze
- B- want physical reassurance
- G- want verbal reassurance
- B- don't ever say what they're thinking
- G- expect guys to just know what to do.
- B- don't make the first move
- G- want the guy to make the first move
- B- don't want a commitment
- G- want a commitment
- B- isn't mushy gushy
- G- wants some romance
- etc
- etc
- etc
So those are some frustrations. But it's fine. Not a big deal at all.
sorry that i didn't really say too much spiritual stuff today on Thought thursday. so because i didn't, here's a quote for you that i have heard often-
"One good yardstick as to whether a person might be the right one for you is this: in her presence, do you think your noblest thoughts, do you aspire to your finest deeds, do you wish you were better than you are?"
isn't that sweet? i hope to feel like that someday. :D
"Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with. Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase yields a good prospect, proceed to courtship. It's marriage time. That is what the Lord intends for His young adult sons and daughters. Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it. If you don't know what a date is, perhaps this definition will help. I heard it from my 18-year-old granddaughter. A 'date' must pass the test of three p's: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off. "Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent. Don't make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don't subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is OK, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door. . . . "My single young friends, we counsel you to channel your associations with the opposite sex into dating patterns that have the potential to mature into marriage, not hanging-out patterns that only have the prospect to mature into team sports like touch football. Marriage is not a group activity—at least, not until the children come along in goodly numbers." Dallin H. Oaks
and i really love this one.
p.s. my fishy whisk died today. :'( RIP