first time ever making coffee. {i did NOT drink it. i had to make it at work} and it smelt real badly. bleck. but i can now add this to my list of things i can do on my resume, right? Not that it's really that cool... yeah, i will not add that actually.
first time quitting a job!! {opinionology} heh. {i have 2 weeks left}
first 7 page journal entry. I had a ton to write about in just ONE day.
First time on Cliff Hanger at Lagoon. It was extremely anti climatic. FYI {i have a funny picture that Ash took when i was on it that i had no idea she was taking. I look ticked. and my friend, Kraig, looks really frightened. haha. debating on putting it on...}
First time this summer of painting my nails with polka dots.
First DTR of the summer {and of the year}. yeah, that was real interesting...
First time i've been to Lagoon w/o going on Rattle Snake Rapids. :'(
This post from here on out is going to make little to zero sense to you. But this blog is mainly for me so.... :D
do you ever get frustrated with yourself for things you should have said but then don't? Like perfect time to say what's been on your mind, and then you either chicken out, don't know how to say it right, or the person you're talking to you says something way unexpected, or just second guess? yeah. me too. OR do you regret things you did say because they come out sounding not at all what you meant or you pretty much say what you meant, just in a round about way? and then you just have to close your mouth cause trying to explain yourself makes you look even dumber. cause that seems to happen to me. AND also you say what you really want to say and then it makes things awkward or weird and such. Story of my life. And then you kick yourself in the britches. It's fine. Don't even worry. scratch that. This is NOT fine.
And then you feel a bit of disappointment and frustration and what if's and such. But there really isn't anything you can do to change what happened. So why worry about it? Why? I really wish that i could not, not worry. Stressing is my middle name. you know, that and Nichole and sexy beast...
I just wish i was a braver person sometimes. I feel like i know better now more than ever who i am and what i believe. I think that i am the same person no matter what the situation is and don't change how i act or what i do. Still though, it's frustrating when i still can't do everything and be everything i want to be. It's a never ending process that i will always be working on.
Anyways, i have less than 2 months of summer. This makes me extremely happy. But sad too. I feel like i've just barely begun to make friends here again and everyone keeps reminding me that "i'm leaving them in the fall". Which is a really really frustrating stanza when put into certain conversations... with family, friends, and coworkers.
i really don't know what else to write. more like how to write what else i am feeling. I feel like my mood and attitude is matching the gloomy weather right now. I really am in need of some of my Logan Friends. Thank goodness they are coming tomorrow! it could not have been more perfect of timing! Although i wish a few more people who couldn't get work off could have come too. Also, i do not have to work tomorrow at all. Grateful for days that i get off. I'd so much rather go to college and do homework and art work than work. I guess that's why i am going to school. So i can get a job that i love. :]
well this is all. and in honor of my not so wonderful mood, i will put my name in dull colors. :P
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