funny work stories, poems, καλός, & ikke bra.

in case you need a translator for the last couple words- καλός in greek means good. ikke bra Norwegian means not good. how fitting. ikke "icky" bra. haha. thank you google translate.

my favorite part of work today goes as follows {i was doing a ridiculous 30 minute survey about Floridian [the inhabitants of Florida, hellloooo....] politics} -

"hi, this is Brianna from opinioinology, a national research company. Is so-in-so-there?"-me.

"are you an under cover cop?!"-them.

"....no"-me.

"so-in-so has a warrant for her arrest. They're looking for her! I bet you're an under cover cop!"-them

"i'm just calling to do a political survey...."-me

"WELL SHE'S NOT HERE YOU COP!"

"khaveanicedaybyebye!" **puts on do not call list real fast**-me

seriously. it does not get better than this.

The first week i worked there, this is a conversation i had-

"using a scale from 1-10 where 1 is the crappiest and 10 is the most celestial, how would you rate your experience"-me {obviously it was worded slightly differently}

"-18"

"using a scale from 1-10 where 1 is the least likely and 10 is absolutely positively, how likely are you to recommend FedEx Office to a friend or colleague?" -me

"I'd recommend it to my ex-wife."

*tries not to laugh* "so what would that be on a scale?"

"well can you make my ex wife take the survey next?"

people are so wonderful. :D

if any of you want jobs at this wonderful place, everyone gets the job who applies. you should apply real soon. here is the link. Because this job is so wonderful that i'm putting my two weeks notice in relatively soon. :D I love it that much. here are the reasons why-

• i only can work nights. leaving me between Harmons and this place with zero nights a week of freedom and fun
• i hate making people do surveys
• i don't think half of the surveys i do are all that honest and are worded in ways to get the result that the people paying us to do them want to get.
• it's not worth minimum wage
• i'm getting more hours at the better of the two jobs i have
• they always want me to stay longer and pretty much say you have to "or else" which is kinda scary...
• they will cancel shifts and not tell you until you are already there. do they realize that gas is a ridiculous 3.50 a gallon???? No. Did i until i bought a car? No. but regardless.
• i think there is some serious reverse discrimination going on. not kidding either.

some one please ask to see my hand. i should not complain this much.

so i came home from the lonestar concert and have a back ache from Caitlin. She decided that i was her personal jungle gym. here's what we did-

• i taught her a couple briannaized country swing moves
• we swung around in circles like 16 bajillion times.
• i tried to teach her a line dance
• we raced {well... }
• we did air plane acrobatics.
• she jumped all over me
• attached herself to my foot and made me walk around
• played horse
• then wrestled
• and then Brianna was done in and Caitlin still had enough energy for 15 adults to last a whole week. So then Ash and i made her run back and forth across the field 3 times for 5 M&M's.
• which gave her more energy to start this whole list over again.

to self: Candy is NOT for already active 8 year olds.

and now i'm going to write you my favorite poem-

there once was a boy named mutt

who sat on a railroad rutt

a big wooden splinter

did break off and enter

his soft little baby smooth butt

that was the pattern of aabba. fyi

and here is a free verse that papa anne {aka sara} wrote me-

The sun shines dappled light through

Crayons paint the colors of my sad, sad eggbeater

The trees

Good lighting, this makes

Goo-oo-oo-d lighting.

Brianna has.

A camera and she

Summer rain falls on the unhappy

Clown-fairy

Wants to take a

Picture of the lighting

And the tree.

isn't she the most talented girl ever??

anyways, i have some excellent news-

• school starts in less than 2 months. i'm going to get a little countdown thingamajig to put on the side next to my counter thing.
• i finished another book. it was called "a modest proposal" better than the other one i read, but not nearly as funny. i
• i am going to lagoon in one week. {ashleigh, email me the plan!!!} :D
• i got a calling at church. i'm the woman FHE group leader. not the mom. cause we're "not a real family."....
• my beta fish is still alive after more than a month!! his name is whisk. the next one i get will be named, "spaghetti getter"
• i asked my brother in law a really random question that resulted in a slightly awkward yet still very interesting conversation that Ashleigh though was hilarious.
• there is a baby cradle in my living room....... and a baby bath tub thing too. mom, do you need to tell me something?? :P
• i finally remembered to pay my tithing! That money has been sitting in my wallet for like 2 months getting larger.
• Betsy's mom still loves me. :D :D :D :D
• Quinton made the all star baseball team! :D
• i shot another wedding on saturday! you can see some pictures on my photo blog.

and here is the bad news-

• that book i read, yeah, t's a dumb trilogy. which means i have to read the next to or else i won't know what to do with myself.
• my nail polish is all chipped again.
• i have apx. 1500 RAW pictures to sort through and edit
• my bank account is at an all time low since i was probably a sophomore in high school.
• i'm nearly out of eye liner.
• no one recorded the bachelorette for me tonight so i have to watch it tomorrow on Hulu instead of tonight which is why i'm writing this here blog.
• i miss the dark room and smelling like rotten eggs and having dry crackling alligator looking hand skin.
• Quinton's friend Brigham enjoys spitting spit wads at me when i take him to Trafalga. Oy vey.
• quinton wants to grow a mullet. ew

okay, i'm going to hit the hay to get some beauty sleep.... as Grandpa Cobb would say.

loves and snuggles,