Thursday, June 28, 2012

Good news and bad news. Plus, the tale of me riding a donkey.


I have some good news and some bad news.

We’ll start with some bad news.

BN- You know how I’ve been a blogging fiend these last few years? Well, apparently there is a cap as to how many pictures your blog can store and as of now, my blog has reached that limit. So, from hence forth and forever my blog can have no more pictures added. UNLESS, I either pay to get more space {not happening} or I figure out a way to transfer old posts to a new blog so I can continue using this blog cause I like it. I don’t know. Do any of you people who read this know any solutions to this un-heard of and terrible situation I’m having?

GN- Greece is beautiful. If I could upload pictures, I’d post a few to show you. But then you’d probably be really sad that you’re not here right now.

BN-I’m leaving Greece tomorrow to start my journey back to the land of America, or more precisely, Utah.

GN-  Tomorrow I get to start my journey back to the land of America, or more precisely, Utah. {yes, I just copied and pasted that sentence because I was too lazy to type it again even though telling you this just added even more length that I had to type.}

BN- Riding the donkey was not exactly what I had imagined it would be… {**see asterisk story under all of my  BN/GN updates**}

GN-I totally went parasailing!!! We went up to a tent set up on the beach that said “crazy sports” on it because it said on the side something like “parasailing, waterskiing, tubing, boating, anything your heart could imagine doing in water” just to see how much it would be to go parasailing. Well, I told myself I would do it if it was under a certain amount. And guess what? It was 5 under that amount. But, Beth and I had left our wallets at the hotel because we wouldn’t need them at the beach and we told the guy we’d be back and wanted to do it.  Well,

BN- he didn’t believe us. So I pinky promised him {this is a true story. I really pinky promised the Greek man who probably thought I was insane} that we’d be back in a little bit. AND

GN- to ensure that we’d be back, he gave us ten dollars off! So instead of Beth and I paying 70 total to go, he let us pay 60. Probably the best 30 bucks ever spent.

BN- we had to wait like and hour and a half to go.

GN- I had never been on a speed boat on the ocean before

BN- it was windier than the point of the mountain.
GN-I worked on my modeling hair in the wind.

BN- when they unpacked the parachute thing I thought I was in serious trouble because all the fabric and strings and clip thingies were in a mega mess and knotted ant tangled and I had no idea how that thing was going to work.

GN-the man from Nigeria and the Greek man with his 2 sons under 10 pulled of a miracle and made the parachute go up.

BN- the Greek man asked us how much we weighed. And when I told him in pounds, I’m pretty sure he looked at me like I was a fatty mc fat pants. {kilos are more than double what a pound is for those of you who don’t know}.

GN-  It’s waay cool how you get up in the air! You sit on the back of the boat, they let go and in a split second you’re literally flying super high. The wind was blowing really hard, and it was a bit terrifying at a few points, but can you imagine the view I got of one of the most beautiful places on Earth??  The guy driving the boat made us go sooo high. We were literally directly over the boat and then he swooped us down so low a few times that we dipped our feet in the ocean. Let me clarify- a ma zing.

BN- I’m not so graceful at the landing part of parasailing….. I may or may not have slid into the boat on my rear end nearly knocking the poor Nigerian man down in the process, trying to wipe a big splash of salt water off of my face, while the Greek man was yelling “quickly madam, quickly madam! Madam madam!”. I’m pretty sure he meant, “get off of your rear so you don’t get caught and drown in the parachute.

GN-I’m alive.

BN- the pictures the 10 year old boy took of us were fantastic. So fantastic that you can’t even tell if it’s Beth or me you’re looking at. Again, if blogger didn’t hate my guts right now, I’d post a really fantastic picture of me parasailing. Or like one of my white legs parasailing. That good. :P

GN- I got to ride a donkey a second time. And this time it was the donkey ride of my dreams.  {***once again, donkey story will be last. Hang tight. I’m probably half way done or more by now.***}

GN- I had lobster for 6.50. SIX FIFTY!! Can you believe that?? I couldn’t. that’s why I got it. To prove that in fact it wasn’t a lie. And it wasn’t.  :D

GN- I ate squid. Well, a bite of squid. I didn’t really feel like ordering a whole thing of it so I just ate a bite of steeve’s. Kinda weird. But I did it.

GN- I hiked to the very top of the volcano.

BN- when the lady said the tour included “seeing” the volcano, I thought she meant seeing it from the ship. No no. she meant hike the whole darn things. You may be thinking “why is this bad?” Well, I’ll tell you. BAD because I was in flip flops. I mean, let’s be honest, you go to an island, you don’t wear hiking shoes. You wear cheap 99 flip flops cause it’s gross to put socks on when your feet are wet and salty.

GN- I hiked that whole volcano like a boss in those cheap purple flip flops. {thank you Lindy and Steeve for teaching me that phrase}

BN- my feet were super hot the whole time and I found out why. The tour guide dug a 20 cm deep hole {he told us it was 20 cms’. Whatever that means} and the earth started to steam. And he picked up a rock down there and let us touch it and it was hot! He said it was so hot that “you could boil eggs down there” {out of everything you could say you could boil he chose eggs. He should have said something more fun than boiled eggs. I mean, boiled eggs aren’t even really that good when comparing it to say boiled chicken, or boiled potatoes, right?} Regardless, you can boil stuff 20 cm below the ground on that volcano. Which explains why my flip flops look semi- melted and my feet were burning.

GN- I hiked that whole volcano like a boss.

GN- the boat we took around the little islands looked just like a pirate ship. I wanted to war an eye patch, call a parrot to come sit on my shoulder and say “argggh mateys!” but I didn’t. instead i….

GN- jumped off of the boat in my little 1 shoulder swim suit into the hot springs by the volcano that…

BN-dyed my skin orange for a little bit and made me look like I had a beard. It’d be a good look on me I think.

GN- I jumped off the boat into the ocean!!

BN-there was a male on the boat that drove everyone insane. He is yet another American that gives us American’s a bad name to the world.

GN- Lindy got the best picture of him ever. {I’d post it, but yet again, I cannot because I have no room for pictures. :’( }

GN- pita wraps {known to Greece as soulvaki has French fries in it. Like IN the wrap. It’s possibly the greatest invention known to mankind.}

GN- I tried musaka {you know, like in My Big Fat Greek Wedding when the main character brings her Tupperware of leftovers to school for lunch as a child and all the blonde girls eating wonder brand sandwiches asks what it is and she says, “musaka” and they laugh and say “moose ca ca?” that’d be it.} It’s sweet. Like not quite a dessert, but not salty. And it has eggplant. And I’m a big fan of eggplant. {That’s not a joke. That is in all seriousness. mmm}

GN- I also ate this thing called Gemisa {I probably chose this because it looked like my darling niece, Gemma’s name.} and it was stuffed bell pepper and a stuffed huge tomato with rice, and pine nuts, and seasonings, and raisins. And surprisingly, it was tasty.

GN- I’ve discovered this thing called “fanta lemonade.” Not a good thing.

GN- the bakery across the street from where we’re staying has some really good baklava. That piece was huge too! And rich. I had to save half for breakfast.

GN- we rented 4 wheelers for 3 days while we were there to get around.

BN- Beth and I’s was having a trial. It would only go an average of 15 up a hill [kph, not mph} when the guy told us to go at 50 as to not get ran over. It took forever to get anywhere, but alas, it was faster than walking and cheaper than getting a taxi or bus.

GN- I bought myself an apron with a donkey on it with bright pink lipstick that’s cooking and it says “santorini donkey cooking on it” and it’s cute.

GN- I bought Gemma a little {nearly matching my apron} bib with a donkey on it. Don’t tell her though, it’s a surprise.

BN- I sliced my leg on a beach chair on the beach under a cute cabana. And I didn’t even have any band aids because I gave them to the poor and helpless –aka {mainly steeve because he seriously has had some trials here. I’m going to take a break from my GN BN and tell you about just the ones involving his left foot}

First steeve crisis- make a story short, he fell off a bed and tour a huge chunk of flesh off the bottom of his foot  that looked nasty. So I gave him Band-Aids as to not have to see this nasty wound. 

Second steeve foot crisis- His shoes gave him some pretty incredibly bloody blisters. So, I gave him some more Band-Aids.

And just when you think his poor left foot was done being injured so he could stop limping and walk normally again….

Third Steeve left foot crisis- a super market cooler door literally fell on top of his big toe. Like he opened the door to get a drink {I think} and the door fell off of the cooler and onto his toe. I wasn’t there to witness this but I laughed my face off when he recounted the story to me. I know it’s not funny, but how he described it and just the series of events that happened after and before this was just so ironic that I laughed so hard my abs hurt! So here’s how he described what happened after- a guy that works there saw that the door was on the floor and said to steeve something like, “oh, don’t worry about, it happens all the time”. You’d think that if the door to this cooler thing fell off all the time, they’d have fixed it. How many people have to leave that store, limping and bloody for them to fix it? His toe looks nasty. Like it’s really blue and purple and he’s definitely going to have a fantastic black nail. Anyways, hopefully that ends the bad news streak for steeve’s left foot.

BN- sunscreen here is the price of an artificial knee.

GN- I used nearly a whole bottle in 3 days.

BN- I still got a little sunburnt.

GN- I’m mostly just really tan now.

BN- sunscreen is nasty. Think about it. You are applying loads of this greasy white cream stuff that you can feel your pours clogging and in revenge you know they’re going to send you the gift of pimples.

GN- I found my mom a souvenir. Mom’s are the hardest to shop for.

BN- there was a cockroach on our toilet.

GN- we flushed it down the toilet.

BN- you can’t throw TP down the toilet….. Kind of grosses me out to put it in the trash…

GN- I can’t think any more GN/BN.

Wait!!! I can

GN- I only have 30 pages left in the Book of Mormon. Goal of reading cover to cover in 2 months while in Europe will be a success. :D

Okay, now for the Donkey stories.

Since I was a wee little teenager and watched sisterhood of the traveling pants for the first time I have wanted to ride a donkey in Santorini. So the entire time in Europe I’ve {naturally} been really excited to ride one.  So I finally get the opportunity and it was not at all what I had expected. In fact, it was slightly terrifying.

We enter the port on our little pirate ship and pay the man to ride the donkey up the stairs. He literally picks me up, slaps me on this donkey that was probably cranky because it had a cage muzzle around it’s mouth, I hold out my camera to the man to ask if he could take a picture, and instead, he yells something really loud and whips the donkey and the donkey thinks it’s the Kentucky derby. It is charging up the stairs like there’s no tomorrow and I’m trying to a- stay on the donkey. B- trying to not let go of my camera. C- trying to not scrape my legs against the wall while the donkey is trying to win getting up the hill. D- trying to enjoy my dream of riding a donkey. And e- feeling bad for the poor donkey for having carry my sorry back side {if I cussed, I would have used a fitting word there} up these stairs and for his bum bum to cause it was just whipped!!

So we get to the top and you’d think that I just charged up the hill because I didn’t breath the whole time and so I was out of breath.

I then try to hand the guy my camera again {because I’d wanted to ride a donkey for so long that I had to have a picture of it.} and this time he keeps yelling “madame madam madam madame madame!! Quickly quickly!” and once again, picks me up, and takes me off the donkey. And the second I got off, the donkey started charging down the stairs. Sigh. Not at all what I had imagined.

Poor Beth had a worse experience than I did. The donkey scraped up her legs and made her toe bleed.

So we came up with a grand plan to go back and pay them more money if they’d let us go slow, not whip their donkeys, and let us enjoy it.

So we went to a different part of the island and the old man in charge of this one was really sweet and nice. We told him we’d give him 10 euros instead of 5 if he PROMISED we could go slow, and that I could get my picture taken on the donkey. He didn’t speak much English but he understood perfectly because he gave us really nice donkeys {none of his donkeys had cage muzzles and looked healthier} and didn’t whip them. He helped us up on donkeys and instead of going up and down the stairs, he took us on a nice walk along the coast! It was beautiful!! And every once in a while he stopped a random person and asked if they could take our picture for us. I kept patting my donkey and whispered what a good donkey he was into his ear, and thanked him too. It was seriously the best donkey ride anyone has ever gotten in Santorini. We got down off of our donkeys and then got pictures of us with our donkeys and with the man who led us on them. He was so sweet, he put his arm around me and leaned his head on mine. And even though he was old, and partly toothless, he was an adorable Greek man.  {you know the drill, I’d put some pictures up, but I can’t.}

I’m writing this post on a 4 hour ferry ride from Santorini to Athens and my stomach is feeling slightly queezy, so I best go.

Ta ta. Next post I’ll probably be back on US soil.

XOXO


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